you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
