Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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