fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
