I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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