sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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