Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
