Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
