Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
