Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
