Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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