I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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