hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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