Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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