is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
