Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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