Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
