I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
