I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
