That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize