I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Randomize
