Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
