I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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