You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just cropdusted the office
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
