Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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