you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
