Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
