I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will be naked everywhere
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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