I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
