I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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