My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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