idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
