I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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