remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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