What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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