im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
