I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
