Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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