Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
