He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
