I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
