ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
