I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
