omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
