one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
