sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
