so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
