i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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