I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
