I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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