Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
