Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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